I came across this collection on newslinq.com and thought it was hilarious and laughing on a Thursday is always a good thing. Most of the captions are theirs but I added a few of my own where I just couldn’t resist. Check out the very last ad — write your answers in the comments and maybe it will turn into a contest! With a prize!
I’m afraid to ask why “horizontal opening” matters.
For those days when hands are superfluous.
The dad bod was already a thing back then. So were underpants frisbees. Frisbriefs.
Please God, let there be shorts under that thing.
“I have a chicken and I’m not afraid to use it!”
Ahoy there, matey!
The biker thug life.
When playing badminton, be sure to dress accordingly.
Because one must always have the appropriate head-gear to go with one’s outfit.
“Label yourself an alcoholic ad man in our bold Budwiser jammies and towelette.”
Kind of makes you wonder what they’re stepping out of.
Early explorations in cross-cultural cross-dressing.
Belted sweaters for men are still waiting for a comeback.
“All employees must wash their hands and snap up their onesies before returning to work.”
Well hello, fancy pants!
Matching sheep are optional.
Shades of Freddie Mercury.
Gender-bending sleepwear for the discerning gent.
This magazine has a highly specialized niche, so it seems.
Tucked in for that seamless look.
The Austin Powers look.
Marlin Perkins’ other Wild Kingdom.
“Because one is enough, when it’s you. Show where you’re headed with the ultimate fashion climax,” says the copy next to the guy in a white jumpsuit stroking a pole.
The higher the waistline, the cooler the guy.
Because everyone loves a man jogging in daisy dukes.
Is it Robin Hood, or one of his merry men?
First generation Village People.
Square pockets, yo.
The stuff that dreams (or nightmares) are made of.
Coordinated turquoise polyester: the fashion choice for today’s modern hitchhiker.
Scramble into a pair of horoscope fun slacks!
“Funtawear!” LOL. But what’s that on the middle guy’s Funtawears? If the woman’s on the right say “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing” above a hot dog; and the woman’s on the left has a… half-eaten apple(?) with some Eve reference (?), then guy on the end must have a… Daikon radish, is my best guess, and the guy in the middle…. ??? A misshapen carrot reaching for his “Root Chakra” with, “Root It Out”?? A Yoda hand tickling his prostate with, “Here I Come”? Your best guess in the comments!