TBT Father’s Day Fashion Edition: 32 Ghastly Ads from the 70’s
I came across this collection on newslinq.com and thought it was hilarious and laughing on a Thursday is always a good thing. Most of the captions are theirs but I added a few of my own where I just couldn’t resist. Check out the very last ad — write your answers in the comments and maybe it will turn into a contest! With a prize!
I’m afraid to ask why “horizontal opening” matters.
For those days when hands are superfluous.
The dad bod was already a thing back then. So were underpants frisbees. Frisbriefs.
Please God, let there be shorts under that thing.
“I have a chicken and I’m not afraid to use it!”
Ahoy there, matey!
The biker thug life.
When playing badminton, be sure to dress accordingly.
Because one must always have the appropriate head-gear to go with one’s outfit.
“Label yourself an alcoholic ad man in our bold Budwiser jammies and towelette.”
Kind of makes you wonder what they’re stepping out of.
Early explorations in cross-cultural cross-dressing.
Belted sweaters for men are still waiting for a comeback.
“All employees must wash their hands and snap up their onesies before returning to work.”
Well hello, fancy pants!
Matching sheep are optional.
Shades of Freddie Mercury.
Gender-bending sleepwear for the discerning gent.
This magazine has a highly specialized niche, so it seems.
Tucked in for that seamless look.
The Austin Powers look.
Marlin Perkins’ other Wild Kingdom.
“Because one is enough, when it’s you. Show where you’re headed with the ultimate fashion climax,” says the copy next to the guy in a white jumpsuit stroking a pole.
The higher the waistline, the cooler the guy.
Because everyone loves a man jogging in daisy dukes.
Is it Robin Hood, or one of his merry men?
First generation Village People.
Square pockets, yo.
The stuff that dreams (or nightmares) are made of.
Coordinated turquoise polyester: the fashion choice for today’s modern hitchhiker.
Scramble into a pair of horoscope fun slacks!
“Funtawear!” LOL. But what’s that on the middle guy’s Funtawears? If the woman’s on the right say “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing” above a hot dog; and the woman’s on the left has a… half-eaten apple(?) with some Eve reference (?), then guy on the end must have a… Daikon radish, is my best guess, and the guy in the middle…. ??? A misshapen carrot reaching for his “Root Chakra” with, “Root It Out”?? A Yoda hand tickling his prostate with, “Here I Come”? Your best guess in the comments!
Live Clay 
I JUST looked at this the other night! It made my week. Hilarious!
❤
Emory
helloscarlettblog.com
Hiya Emory! I’m glad you still enjoyed the second time around, and enough to comment 🙂 Thank you for visiting and now I must check out helloscarlettblog.
This made my week – holy crap.
I’m glad to have filled your week with holy crap, Mike. Though I didn’t realize you were a religious man, I’m glad to have infused your week with awe.come. Nice to see you old friend 🙂
Oh man, I just saw the type-o up there! Awe.come. Spent too much time looking at these ads, I guess.
You as well. I am religions, a bonafide Dudeist – follower of the Big Lebowski, man.
Ok, to reply as my self and not my work persona…. disregard previous if you saw and know that I’d like to attend a BL Revival sometime soon 🙂
Hilarious!! Gotta share these!! Hope you are well. Come see us in SF sometime! L.
So I’m a little confused; were you hoping I’d pick out one of these for Father’s Day? I used to have a lot of them in my wardrobe but Donna made me burn them. Do we really want to go back there? Jerry
Well Jer, Mom’s been traveling quite a bit. If you slip me a pattern I’ll see what I can whip together on a pair of knitting needles. Unless you want the Funderwear and then you’re on your own. Probably forever.
Thank all the gods aliens didn’t visit us in the 70’s! That would just be too hard to explain. Oh wait… maybe they did pop in in 1973, had a look around, and… 😦
Hahah! Yes John I believe some of these model fellows WERE the aliens. They weren’t advertising clothing but a whole cultural takeover. Thank [universal love] it didn’t work! However. Would strait men being comfortable with loungewear and printed panties be such a bad thing….??
Slow down, slow down… Let’s just start with a quilted poncho, then we’ll see where things go from there, OK? 🙂
For the last Funtawear Photo: I’ve gotta radish growing out of mine. II bet you’ve only got hemorrhoid’s, but I have just the thing, Calvin. Preparation H.
Now I want my prize.
Enirely. T.M.I. I was actually talking about the undies in the picture, not your personal garmentry. You must stop now. You win. Come get whatever you want. And thanks for commenting from the far northern corner of NM!!
hilarious! and hideous. 🙂
Oh, thank you Lynda. That’s a winning combination, in my book. :0 I hope you are not sweltering too badly right now. If so, just be glad you have something to wear besides belted sweaters (I think).
God I can remember dudes looking like this, thank god the porno stache isnt popular anymore.
Hi Chatterbox, thanks for stopping by! The weird thing is, they all look pretty porno but I think that was the intention for only a few. The rest seem to be advertising clothing geared toward the average, straight, working-class cool guy. Maybe the huge sexual revolution of the 60s manifested in fashion after the first wave of general undress.
yvw, enjoyed the blog. okay im off to fix my page, as it was wiped clean, everything poofed…=(
The last ad could possibly be my all time fave, check out guy on the right!
Kneepads, for when you see it coming…
Thanks for the laughs
You’re right! Will all the visuals to feast on, I totally missed that! Disco rollerskating porn… let’s hope we don’t see it coming again. Ever. Nice to see you here 😮
xx
Does it count if I’m laughing on a Saturday? Love this Laura!
Hi Stacie, good to see you! Laughter is always a good thing and in fact has moved up to #2 position (after original limbs and teeth) for what I look for in a date. Hope you are having a great, coolish summer! xx