Last week, a magazine published by the art school I attended arrived in the mail bearing news and highlights of various exhibitions including this upcoming BFA show:
“…[the artist] draws on the paradox of simultaneous hypervisibility and invisibility within critical race theory and her own lived experience as a “brown femme queer woman occupying the deviant body of the ‘other.'” Through a combination of video, photo, sculpture, and installation, she explores the construction of the other by responding to the imagery of a “standardized body” enforced by capital-driven industries.”
I’ve never been clever enough to write such
incomprehensible intellectual descriptions of my own work and processes. And I’m not trying to bash my fellow artists here, it’s just… WHAT?
[the artists] collaborate to present Womb, a large-scale 3D animation with the sound developed to incite a dialogue about the connection between digital bodies and human emotion. Drawing from reality to fabricate an invented one, the content and installation of the animation emulates the interior of the human body while the sound element is modulated live based on the vibrations traveling through the physical gallery space. The exhibition creates a metaphysical loop that evokes the human desire to return to the womb.”
Do you have a desire to return to the womb?
I think it’s time I had a retrospective of my own. Since I don’t feel like waiting for the invitation from a major gallery or museum to arrive,* I think I’ll do it here, myself. And I think it will be much more efficient to
plagiarize appropriate text from my art school magazine than to come up with my own pretentious third-person drivel descriptive prose. So, enjoy (and you’re welcome).
Biodegradable Funerary Urns contend with themes of death. The works emphasize mortality, and the process of creation and display to honor departed loved ones and defy traditional commercial funerary practices that rely on the underpaid labor of brown people in other parts of the world to satisfy the traditional 400% industry mark-up.
Sustainable, affordable, non-toxic, and fair-trade, Biodegradable Funerary Urns allow families to explore nuances of death, celebration, and impermanence for several seconds before they (the urns) sink to the ocean floor and eventually disintegrate or are consumed by sea life, thereby expanding Biodegradable Funerary Urns into a collaboration with ourselves.
Botanical Motif Ceramics are inspired by garden life. “One time I took a Plant & Animal Illustration class at art school. It’s been pretty useful.” –Laura Bruzzese
The Screaming Toad™ series investigates the complex layers of selfhood and phony trademark usage in the context of taxonomic background, breeding preference, and personal displacement. Simultaneously satirical and sincere, the works operate in paradox: both seductive and foreboding, they are embedded with the politics of hearing and being heard, loving and being loved — among ourselves, amphibians and unsuspecting neighbors.
Recent praise for Toad Love™ mugs: “My coffee will never be the same.” –Bob
The critically-acclaimed Jumpy draws from reality to fabricate an invented one, creating a metaphysical loop that evokes the insatiable desire of gallus domesticus to eat grapes.
Dia de los Muertos works: “As we artists living [in] Nu[evo] Mexico like to [say], ‘Put a skull on [it] and it will sell… [H]ear[t]s too…'” –Laura [Bruzzese]
Bruzzese has recently extended her masterful range of talents to collaborate with world-renowned wildlife photographer and one of her personal heroes, Nick Brandt.
Although Mr. Brandt has no idea Ms. Bruzzese exists, that might change when his Big Life Foundation receives the first of (hopefully) many donations from the sale of Elephant wares in her Etsy shop. These works espouse hyperbole, creating confusion around lines drawn between “us” and “them,” ignoring categorical limitations of cross-species empathy, innocence, and exploration of permanence: extinction vs. human greed vs. stupidity vs. inexpensive decals.
In Buy My Kid’s Crap, Ms. Bruzzese expanded her internet-based multi-media work beyond Etsy into the wider and more depraved ebay auction audience, examining our relationship with the material world as both a container for, and disposable manifestation of, our childhoods. The ebay store was itself the artwork, including the carefully written item descriptions (more valuable than the objects for sale) as well as marketing materials. This graphic was printed on 6″ x 4″ gold leaf tickets and included with each sold auction item, forcing the recipients to contemplate the implications of “winning,” “admittance,” and the responsibilities of possession/consumerism, while simultaneously suggesting that Bruzzese is, perhaps, insane.
Seeking The Essence of Womb
Friday, March 12, 2014, 2pm
Rufina is recognized as one of the major figures in the artist’s back yard. For more than two years she has been discerning boundaries between industrial sounds and wilderness sound environments, proposing a blind, profound, and transcendental listening freed from the imperatives of knowledge and open to sensory and spiritual expansion. She will present this lecture as performance, a series of movements informed by the unique perspective that only an eyeless, overweight chicken engaged in a largely sedentary life might render. Free and open to the public.
But I did make some pictures!
My sister forwarded me an e-newsletter today from Clue, which seems to be a website devoted to menstrual cycle info & tracking systems. Newsletter topics included The variety of vulvas (when it comes to vulvas, there is no ‘normal’); Stress and the Cycle; and my very favorite, The Period Coloring Book: a meditative coloring book that normalizes and challenges the stigma around periods. From the author:
I find this hilarious.
I clicked the link to the Indiegogo fundraiser page (check out the coloring video) and was disappointed to find that the campaign is over (funded 137%) so I cannot get my own book or one (shhhh, Christmas surprise!) for lovely Isabella.
who has abandoned me for college life in Nashville.
But, I thought, what the heck, no reason I can’t start my own book now and hope that the print copy is available one day soon in a retail outlet near me. Here’s a preview of my work so far.
APRIL 21, 2016 Yellow Legs “Cuddles” Garcia was laid to rest today in a shady enclave in the back yard she called home for the past three years. Yellow Legs died shortly after being admitted to a veterinary hospital for weight loss and an indeterminate abdominal issue. Having been diagnosed with what could have been any number of reproductive ailments that likely developed over several weeks, the prognoses for which were universally dire, the difficult decision for euthanasia was made. Yellow Legs passed away peacefully in the company of a compassionate vet and her assistant, with her head resting in her caretaker’s hands. She is survived by her sister, White Legs “Jumpy” Garcia, and her blind coop-mate, Rufina, for whom she had recently developed an almost affectionate tolerance.
Yellow Legs was born in 2013 in an anonymous hatchery along with thousands of other chicks. Hours after hatching, she was placed on a conveyor belt where she was sorted according to size, sex and stamina, treated with antibiotics, and dispatched within 48 hours via Fed Ex to a local feed store. From there, she was adopted into the Bruzzese family where she remained until her death.
Although Yellow Legs never knew her parents, she nonetheless developed into a well-adjusted, if sickly, backyard hen. In her youth, she was known for steady egg laying, adventurousness, and an insatiable curiosity that motivated her to traverse all manner of fencing in order to dig through garden beds, often destroying the drip system in the process. That trait, coupled with her progressively delicate constitution requiring three expensive trips to the vet during her short life, caused her caretaker to lay her own sanity open to question on more than one occasion.
Yellow Legs’ favorite leisure activities included sunning herself in forbidden areas of the yard, dirt bathing, and hiding her head while she sat in her caretaker’s lap. Her professional career began with a film debut in 2014’s The Contest, a performance central to the blog post, delighting “winner” and “loser” readers alike.
Yellow Legs enjoyed almost everything in life. Her presence will be missed and her death honored as one lucky hen among thousands whose brief and miserable lives will end today in slaughter houses, without ceremony, care, or compassion, never having had the opportunity to live as chickens or even touch their feet to the ground. Rest in peace, Cuddly.
6:30 a.m.: A beautiful morning. Sit by the pond with latte. Observe that one of the Garcias is looking unwell.
Diagnose Yellow Legs with inoperable cancer based on the following pathogonomic evidence:
Prepare myself emotionally to say good-bye to Yellow Legs while mentally composing her obituary: RIP Yellow Legs: Beloved Sister, Entertainer, Friend…
Spend 2.5 hours looking for a vet that treats chickens, just to confirm diagnosis and perhaps offer palliative care and/or euthanasia. Locate four poultry vets in the City of Albuquerque, all of whom are “off rotation” today. Conspiracy?
Find vet willing to see chicken this afternoon. Try to get some studio work done though distracted by the knowledge that the rest of the day will be spent grieving.
See vet at 2:30 p.m. Vet diagnoses Yellow Legs not with cancer, but with a common intestinal parasite.
Weep a little after I’m handed the bill.
Drive 15 mi. to feed store to buy medication which is only available in large, “calf strength” bottle.
Drive home and ponder the task of converting dosage in mg to Tsp, if solution is 9.6% and the chicken weighs 5 lbs. Refuse to admit that the math you swore you’d never needin school might be helpful here. But ah! The internet:
“It is necessary to know the density of the material being measured to convert its amount in milligrams to teaspoons. For example, the density of water is 1 gram per milliliter, and 0.2 grams of water equals 0.2 milliliters, which is 0.04 teaspoons of water…”
Eggs owed by Yellow Legs @ $5/doz (fresh, organic, parasite-free): $95,646.
8:30 p.m.: Craft the first of many martinis to be consumed in silence, accompanied only by a pile of unfinished studio work and a medicated, $43,041 chicken roosting happily in the coop; garnish with my own bitter tears.
The other day I was in an antique/thrift store looking for a vintage light fixture when I came across this picture.
I thought it looked old and cool and might be worth something. So I bought it and started researching. I was ecstatic to find that a similar image sold at auction for $45,000 last month. Woo! Would I be one of those people on Antique’s Road Show whose retirement was earned off a $5 thrift store purchase??!
Long story short, this picture isn’t what I thought it was. Know how I felt when I found that out? Relieved. Physically relieved, like Dracula had just removed his fangs from my neck. Not sure why, but I think it was the pressure: if a thing is something, something “valuable,” then it becomes an obligation. Restore? Conserve? Insure? Keep? Sell? How? Auction? Private? Who to trust? How much? On and on.
The joy of nothingness and the burden of wealth are conversations for another day.
For now, I’ve decided to sell this picture on ebay >here to hopefully recoup my investment.
For your convenience, I’m publishing the listing here too (enhanced version) so that you might enjoy the opportunity to be next in the noble provenance line. The auction just started so, yay for you, the current bid is still the starting bid of $6.32. Good luck!
PS The first person to correctly answer the riddle at the end of the listing (below in Comments) wins a Toad Love™ cup! Happy spring!
This is most likely a newspaper ad for the 1931 Dracula Vampire Thriller film.
It’s been lovingly glued to cardboard (painted blue) and vigorously sprayed with varnish in indiscriminate swirly patterns of varying thicknesses.
After several days of intense research and consultation, it is my unprofessional opinion that this is NOT a title lobby card. I base this authentication on the following criteria:
1. It appears to be newsprint
2. It appears to have been cut with bluntish scissors
3. Professional assessment:
So, moving forward.
Overall Grade: D+
As stated, this picture is in terrible condition. The D+ rating has been given because it has every conceivable type of damage possible to printed media EXCEPT the following:
In other words, when you place the winning bid for this item, you will be purchasing a picture with approximately seventeen (17) pin holes; forty-two (42) wrinkles; three (3) tiny tears; five (5) eddies; fading; yellowing; water (or urine) stains; cardboard backing (adhered); missing bits (upper left); handwriting (bottom); raggedy edges.
But let’s not dwell on the negative.
What You Will Be Purchasing
That’s right, side-by-side Daisy Rifle and Tarzan ads!
And how about the mysterious hand-writing?
Know what I think? I think this was written by the original graphic artist, overwhelmed by a violence of achievement at seeing his/her first-ever printed newspaper ad. He was inspired to clip it, touch it up
and do it all over again. Sixty-six times. As Christmas gifts for his friends & family. Sixty-six of them.
Each ad was numbered and dated by the artist (adding value) because in the 1930s color newspaper ads, especially large unfolded ones, were rare and collectible. Neither he nor Debby Cloud should be blamed for the fact that at some point prior to 2015, she (Debby) chose to sloppily affix her gift to cardboard and varnish the hell out of it, intending to preserve it for all eternity. Essentially ruining it.
But ruin is a relative term.
In my opinion, considerable value has been added to this item by the artist, Debby, and me. Because now it’s not just a damaged picture, it’s a story. One that you will think about every time you see it hanging on your wall. One that might even bring you joy.
How much is that worth?
I came across this collection on newslinq.com and thought it was hilarious and laughing on a Thursday is always a good thing. Most of the captions are theirs but I added a few of my own where I just couldn’t resist. Check out the very last ad — write your answers in the comments and maybe it will turn into a contest! With a prize!
Just a quickie today to let you know that I’ve decided to clean out my basement and profit from the spoils. Because there’s no better time than during the vacant days of the holiday season to take on a major project that involves lots of dirt and little tangible reward.
This odyssey began on Thanksgiving when I went down there, looked around, and decided I was turning into the hoarder I bought my house from.
So, I spent the entire day in a dust mask sorting through hideous piles of junk, giving thanks that there was some valuable stuff mixed in: throw away, give away, ebay. Yes! I have discovered ebay to be a wondrous vehicle of dispersal for Isabella’s most treasured childhood possessions, or at least those with some resale value.
We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
We make a life by what we give. Then repo and sell on ebay. Make life as profitable self-enriching as possible.
What am I gonna do for others this holiday season? Yeah, right — what am I gonna do for ME. It’s the thought that counts? Forget it! I want my money back.
I don’t know what’s more fun, recouping a percentage of my birthday, Christmas, and yard sale presents to Isabella, or writing the descriptions (click to enlarge).
Who knows, when I run out of doll clothes and plastic toys, maybe I’ll move on to my own collection of useless objects — I still have half a basement to go and the holiday season has only just begun.